World's Dumbest Words and Constructions

There is a list of, shall I say, "pet peeves" that I have that really test my patience whenever I hear them out loud or see them in writing. It really tries my patience as an English major student because I have known the difference between most of these since I was in elementary school. One really must wonder what they are teaching in school these days or whether anyone is actually listening.

My reified version of this concept would have to be my 16-year-old neighbor and good friend who still reads at a 3rd grade level—a 3rd grade level?! I kid you not. He is always asking me how to spell this word or that word and the words are 5th grade level words at best. He cannot construct sentences on his own, but he's still a good kid—he just doesn't go to school all that often, and when he does, he sleeps in class. It's a shame that this is what the American educational system is coming to.

For example, many people, including him, make this error that irks me:

Wrong: I should of went to class yesterday.
Correct: I should have gone to class yesterday.

For those of you who say and write it the former way, you should HAVE GONE to class one day and never have left until you had learned English! How hard is it to get this right? Where does one come up with the notion that the preposition, "of" would actually follow the modal, "should"? Also, what idiot would think that the preterit, "went" would come right after a verb that is already in its past tense, "should", which is the past tense of "shall" in this example? It boggles my mind, really—it does. Tush, tush, people! Learn your language; that's all I ask.

Here is a laundry list of other errors that piss me off:

1. We snuck into the movies last night. (Answer: sneaked)
2. I brung it to you yesterday. (Answer: brought)
3. I ain't going to the movies. (Answer: am not)
4. He should of did it a while ago. (Answer: have done)
5. I've drank too much tonight. (Answer: drunk)
6. I wish I was there with you. (Answer: were)
7. You've swam a lot this week. (Answer: swum)
8. I remember him being much taller. (Answer: his)
9. You are faster than me. (Answer: I/I am)
10. It's you who calls all the time, isn't it? (Answer: call)
11. The person in the picture is me. (Answer: I)
12. He don't know what he's talking about. (Answer: doesn't)
13. Where are you at? (Answer: superfluous "at". I've never heard them say, "Scooby Doo, where you at?" That must be the ghetto version of Scooby Doo.)
14. Where are you going to? (Answer: superfluous "to")
15. The book is in here. (Answer: superfluous "in")
16. Go back from whence you came. (Answer: superfluous "from")
17. He will find him guilty, irregardless of the facts. (Answer: regardless)
18. That person doesn't know what they're talking about.*(Here, "they" is referring back to the subject of the main clause) (Answer: he's/she's)
19. Us scoring twenty runs is all that counts. (Answer: Our)
20. Me and John are coming by to see you. (Answer: John and I)
21. This is just between him and I. (Answer: him and me)
22. He's talking to Lisa and I about something important. (Answer: me and Lisa)
23. They be all up in my grille. (Answer: no help for this sentence construction)
24. That is there book. (Answer: their)
25. You is/was wrong, man. (Answer: are/were)
26. It's important that he has it done by Friday. (Answer: have)
27. I think I'm gonna cry. (Answer: going to)
28. I'm telling you I wanna try again. (Answer: want to)
29. If he would have listened, he wouldn't have lost the game. (Answer: had listened)
30. If you would behave yourself, there wouldn't be a problem. (Answer: behaved)
31. Man, you ____talking to much. (Answer: are & too)
32. I'm talking to yous. (Answer: you/you and him/etc.)
33. I am doing good. (Answer: well)
34. I'm not feeling so good today. I think I'm sick. (Answer: well)
35. He's seems more happier today than he was yesterday. (Answer: happier/more happy)
36. He's the baddest kid in the neighborhood. (Answer: worst)
37. That television show is my most favorite. (Answer: superfluous "most")
38. Lane three is the express line. You can use that line if you have ten items or less. (Answer: fewer)
39. They have two twins. (Answer: superfluous "two" or "two sets" of twins)
40. It's a little, small package. (Answer: either "little" or "small", but not both)
41. Whom shall I say is calling? (Answer: Who)
42. Give this to whomever comes to the party. (Answer: whoever)
43. I'll try and do it myself. (Answer: try to do)
44. Bring it there! (Answer: Take)
45. I've already ate. (Answer: eaten)
46. Who's name was picked? (Answer: Whose)
47. I'm only concerned about me. (Answer: myself)
48. Stephen and myself will help you out. (Answer: Stephen and I)
49. People, like myself, are too critical about grammar. (Answer: me)
50. I am going to help him to be a better person. (Answer: subjunctive "be"; no infinitive)
51. Everyone should just do as they're told.*(Here, "they're" is referent to the subject of the main clause, "Everyone") (Answer: he's/ if talking about only females, then "she's")
52. If I was President, I would cut taxes.*hypothetical, contrary-to-fact statement (Answer: were)

Damn, do I hate these errors. There are some errors that I didn't mention because some errors in English I can live with, such as these:

1. Can I come with you? (instead of "May")
2. I'm sleeping over tonight. (instead of "at your house")
3. Put it over there. (there should be no "over")
4. Will you be there tomorrow? (instead of "Shall")
5. I won't be in school tomorrow. (instead of "shan't")
6. Who are you talking to? (Instead of "Whom")
7. Can you come here for a second? (Instead of "Will")
8. I want to go see a movie. (Instead of "go there to see")
9. Come and get it! (Instead of "come here to get it")
10. Wherever you are, I'll find you! (Instead of "be" or "may be")
11. It's over with now. (Instead of just saying, "It's over now")
12. I have put it over by the chair. (superflous preposition, "over")
13. Please sir, I would like some more. (instead of a more formal, "should")

Okay, that's my rant for the day. Take care, everyone and be sure to write to me regarding any comments you might have about this article and, perhaps, some errors that really bug you that I might have missed.